Replay

What a week. Seriously. So much happened in one week that I didn't know I could handle. From work, to working out, to friends going off the rail. Jammed packed into 6 days. I would say 7, but I spent the day cleaning, relaxing, and unwinding from the week. I actually enjoyed today.

Work was just non stop packed with so much to do in such little time. Not really mad about that, but what really ticked me off is that I'm having to fix everyone's problems. Now to be fair the customers at work are just a bunch of douches, so I can't throw these guys under the bus. But seriously! Come on man. So many beer deliveries going to places that don't really need it. Calm your tits man, you can wait till next week. One after another. I seriously almost went crazy.

So I started working out again. Let me tell you, it has definitely been a while. I'm still a bit sore from those workouts that I probably did wrong, but I can tell from the scale I've lost a few pounds. I just really need to pick it up with the workouts. I need to win this bet. 150 on the line that I can really use!

Now what capped off the week was my friend losing his shit. Seriously. He makes me wonder if I've ever been in love before. I'm just gonna go ahead and say I can cope with heartbreaks wayyyy better than he can. I get it. 10 years can do a number to you and it still has been under a year, but fuck off man. If someone ran off and married one of my "best friends" I'd be more mad than anything. Okay we all have different way of handling things. Most people can drink the pain away until the next day and so forth. Others use it as motivation to make them a better person. And the others usually take it both ways, and use it as a learning experience for future references. I guess I haven't been in that situation and I sure hope I don't every have to go through that. But what really gets me mad is when you truly try and help someone, but they don't want to help themselves. There's only so much you can do to help someone, but if they aren't willing to help themselves then you, for the most part, are wasting your time. I'm not a love doctor so I don't know what I'm saying for the most part, but I think I know well enough the do's and don't of pre and post dating. But wait!!! You thought that was it. No way Jose. Throw in a different girl that he loved as well and boom! You got yourself a tore up man. Really. Two girls that he truly cares about and break his heart. Yeah. I'd go crazy too. Although you can't help but to feel sorry. I know for a fact that it's not just one side that made this go raw. It goes both ways. Some sides take things more serious than the others, but that's with everyone. Everyone has that one (or 100) things that make you pissed off, and over a course of 6 month to 10 years, eventually you'll have enough. But back to my point no matter what happened, everything will eventually be okay. It's just getting there is the difficult part for most. I just hope I can help him before it's too late.

What a week though. Right? Guess what.... I get to do it all over again starting tomorrow.

Peace & Love 

Chico 

Lost in the haze

Recently I've been struggling with the fact that I haven't seen much change in my life. Nothing. From high school, to college, to now. I've just been going through the motions day in and day out. No real spark. Nothing drastic. Just there. Another blind soul. For once in my life I'm not sure what to do. Do I need to do something out of the ordinary? Bizarre? I seriously don't know. It bugs the hell out of me that in 23 years, I don't know what to do. Everyone seems to have that passion and desire pushing them each day, until they reach their goals. me? Nothing. Everything in my life has pretty much been handed to me. So I don't know what it means to struggle. And because of that, I've never really desired anything. I've never not gotten anything I wanted.  People just tell me what to do and I do it. Everything just seems to work out in my favor, until the next day, and the day after that. Thats how its been my whole life. You tell me something and I do it. Both sides are "happy", and we carry on with our lives.


What have I done? ME. Have I done anything to change anyones life? My family? My friends? Me? I'm always that one great friend to have around, the life of the party, never in a bad mood, always happy, never struggles with anything, just "happy". But if I always make everyone laugh and smile, how come I'm the one that isn't happy. I have everything that most people would die for and are dying for right now just to be in the position I am in. But why am I not happy with it? I feel like I don't deserve it most times, and people are always quick to pull the trigger on how deserving I am and how I make everyone happy in my life. But why am I not happy? I've gone through my whole life with no excitement. No change. Just the same thing every day. I need something new and exciting. I guess I won't get that if I stay home everyday wondering why. I just don't want to wake up ten years from now wondering where my life went, because I did the same thing and never changed.

Peace & Love

Chico

Week 1 - Pen to paper

So I am trying out this new 52 week small changes for the mind challenge, which could go one of two ways. The first, I won't finish it or I'll forget about in the next day. The second, I will actually finish it and get something out of it. I honestly hope it is the second one, but who knows. This is something I actually bought in order to change up my life a little bit, and just like the book says, 52 weeks to change 52 small things that could ultimately change the way I perceive different things in my life. I'm not sure if I have to write everyday, and if that is the case I'm in trouble. I haven't written one of these in a bit. Not that I wanted to, but things always kept getting in the way, and when I say that I meant I was being too lazy. Go figure. Anyways, this book started out with a goal. I guess If I had to choose a goal, it would have to be, me being a better person. Not in a sense of doing right and saving the world, but a person who thinks outside of the box and isn't afraid to live a little, while doing all the right things to benefit me in the long run. I really hope this book changes the way I perceive the world and its mysterious creatures that walk around the earth everyday called "Humans". Although this may seem like an easy task, I have a sense of overwhelm anxiety, if you can put that together. I feel like this book has so many things to do that I find myself going too fast, when in reality all I have to do is incorporate one change a week. That doesn't seem too bad considering, most of these changes are stuff I may already do, but don't take the time to appreciate or really elaborate on. I guess I need to slow down on wanting to rush through life, and stop to smell the roses. I'm not sure if I used that right, but who the hell cares. This is my blog, I can say whatever the hell I want. Bitches. Alright I got to go, Tylenol PM is kicking in hard core.

Peace & Love - Chico

Starbucks

I'm a firm believer of you get what you give. Give a little, get a little. But I've been struggling with the fact, who am I really doing it for, me or the person I'm helping out. I'd like to think that I'm doing it out of the kindness of my heart, but I sometimes catch myself wanting to do it to make me feel better for all the bad things I have done. But is that such a bad thing? Lets be real, we've all done it once or twice. I'm not saying that the only reason I do it, but it is a big chunk of it. I know we should be nice to each other all the time, but thats not the case most of the time. If you look at this way, two people are getting something positive from it, is it such a bad thing after all? Like today for instance, I don't have too much money on me or in my bank account, but I do have about 30 bucks in my star buck's card, which is quite a bit, seeing that I just recently got this nice coffee maker for the house. So I figured I would buy the lady's drink behind me. I've had this done to me once, and although many people just think it's nothing over the top, it was a nice gesture. Made me feel good. Like someone wanted to do something for me, even though the person in front of me probably didn't know or even see me. So the next couple times I went to Starbucks, I paid for the person behind me. It felt nice. Both people getting something out of it. I've always believed it's the little things in a person's day or life that make a big difference. All it takes is something small to make a person's day, and you never know how much that will make a difference.  To me, I enjoy seeing people happy, especially if I know I had something to do with it. If I have the chance to give joy, I'll take it, because that's how I get my joy. No one can take that joy away from me. So for now, I'll continue to buy people's drinks every now and then and hopefully that can change someone's day, and in return, they'll do something nice for someone else. Changing the world one coffee at a time! 

-Chico